Practice acceptance, balanced habits 4

I feel tired when the alarm goes off, but I have to get up and get ready for work. I could feel annoyed having to wake up when my body wants to stay in bed, and start harboring negative emotions towards the 9 to 6 office life. Instead I accept my tiredness, and promise myself to get to bed earlier tonight. I start slowly getting myself ready for work, giving my body and mind the time it needs to get going.

The train is again packed with people, and I hardly have space to move. I could feel annoyed at the other people of pushing me around, and not giving me the space to read my book. Instead I understand that also others have to go to work, and fully accept the situation. I stand surrounded by my fellow commuters, and start listening to a good podcast.

I get a mail from my colleague, him letting me know that he doesn’t agree with me. I could be annoyed with my colleague, considering him unable to understand my point of view. Instead I remember that all people make sense in their own head, and accept his opinion. I call him to ask more about his mail, to fully understand his point of view.

At the end of the day I have still loads of things that I wanted to achieve. Some work issues are pending, I had promised to organize the holiday pictures, and I haven’t even cleaned the kitchen yet. I could be disappointed in myself, feeling like a loser for not being able to achieve everything. Instead I accept that I also have a limited amount of time and energy in the day, and decide to feel happy about what I did achieve. I accept myself, and feel free!

How to do it

Most people get frustrated and annoyed either on the things they experience or towards the people in their life. Things don’t go as you want them to go, or people don’t behave as you wish they would… So what! That’s life!

You start the acceptance from realizing that you can change the current, as it already exists. But you can change the future. And you can’t change other people, but you can change your approach to them. In both of these cases the starting point is a total acceptance. Just accept what is!

After you have accepted the current, you can start changing things. You can either change your surrounding reality or your internal approach. When working on the external world, focus on those things that you can influence. If you can’t change enough of your environment, go somewhere else. Or work on yourself. By changing your attitude or your perspective, the way you experience the reality also changes.

Practicing acceptance does not mean passively going with the flow. It means actively focusing on the now by accepting and living it! This starting point gives you the power to change things, to create a new reality. Practicing acceptance is the exercise of the champions!

Benefits for you

• More energy – You can fight against what is… and you will lose every time. Stop wasting your energy in the futile fight, and accept the now. All the energy that you saved by not fighting on what can’t be changed, can be put into good use when creating the new future.
• Less stress – If you continuously fight against what already is, you will quickly paint your emotional landscape very dark. This emotional burden will poison your mind, leading to continuous negative thinking. Instead of carrying this extra stress, release yourself from it by practicing acceptance. You will feel so much lighter!
• Reclaim your power – With more energy, and less stress, you are able to focus on what is relevant. You have a clear starting point, which is the current reality that you have accepted. From that basis you can start creating your future, thus being in control of your own life.

Example practices

1. Self-acceptance: Start your morning by accepting yourself. After waking us, look yourself at the mirror, deep into your own eyes. Tell yourself: “I accept you exactly as you are.” Do it again, with more conviction! Smile with yourself!
2. Accepting own emotions: The more you try to disown your negative emotions, the more sneaky ways they will find to disrupt your life. When negative emotions arise, accept them as a natural part of you being a human being. Let the emotions come, observe them from the distance, and then let them go away. Don’t get stuck!
3. Accepting others: You don’t have to always like other people, but you can always accept them as they are. Even if their actions wouldn’t make any sense for you, inside of their own head they have the perfect logic for their thoughts & behavior. If you want to understand them more, you can ask: “Please help me to understand…” or “Interesting, please tell me more…”
4. Accepting each moment: This moment is here, and you can’t change it anymore. But you can change your point of view, the way you interpret the situation. Try to imagine what the ‘perfect you’ would feel at that moment, and adopt that attitude. You’ll notice that the ‘reality’ changes with your perspective.

• Moving hands, practicing happiness
• About sunrise, and accepting reality

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Tags: acceptance, emotion, mind, soul